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Pump up the argument between these two fantastic forms of self expression and you’ve really got something on your hands. I like the idea of having my eyebrow carrying more hardware than the belt of a mall cop because it is just simply super sexy. Think of all that stainless glinting in the moonlight outside your favourite bar. Members of the opposite sex watch out because when they see all that chrome there is a real chance for lasting love and devotion.

People who have wasted their time and money on simple ink based forms of bodily adornment will have to give themselves a little kick in the posteriors when they realize the simple power of getting a lip, nipple or scrotum done with a fine silver bar perhaps with nice adornments like coloured balls or small insects captured forever in a pose of enlightenment in simple amber or epoxy resin. The mind reels with the possibilities: bars through ears and lips connected with beautifully wrought chains or even heavier chain links say so much more than old won out flash or even having grass stains on one's knees. Just as a dream is transported to reality down the river of action in a boat of determination, your slightest flights of fancy can be brought to life by a simple visit to your local adornment practitioner. This may sound a bit rich coming from someone whose first 35 years were spent as a sheep herder on the Siberian steppes but let me assure you and all other gentle readers that experience is not the only way to bring about true knowledge. There can be a priori knowledge.

Notwithstanding the furor and flurry of excitement that these persuasive arguments will, without question, elicit I stand by my opening hypothesis that hardware is most certainly better than more artwork. Ask anybody: your gym coach, pastor or brother-in-law and they are all certain to proclaim in loud clear voices: "long live the queen!"

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