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The Celts or peoples of Ireland and Britain were beautiful artists. Their complex and intricate designs can lend themselves well to modern body adornment. I've seen guys that have wikkid tatties like little interlinking knots around their fingers or wrists and have thought to myself that that's what I want to get. As soon as I get my pay check, I'm going to buy a bottle of Ruby Red and head down to that shop and get me one of those zoomorphic figures slapped on me in a hurry so that I can get on with the more important task of impressing ladies not only with my charming demeanour and unhurried, languid style but also my thirty-six inch pythons. These guns were made for charming.

When it comes to fine pastimes, I think getting my body adorned is one of the most fun ones out there. A finely wrought Celtic cross would not only tell the world of my deep devotion to pre Romanic Britain but also would let the chicks know that I am open for business. The doctor is in if you get my meaning. I think that the second order of business, after getting the work done of course, will be to purchase or borrow a pair of scissors and cut all the sleeves off of every shirt and jacket I have. What a fine figure I will present at my next PTA meeting with no sleeves on my coat, my half healed Cross yelling to all the other mothers out there "yes I am a liberated woman, hear my growl." I’m pretty sure that's how it goes.

Building upon the success of such a carnival of individuality and expression will be hard at first but I think with diligence and forbearance I will topple the walls of establishment and more fully realize my dream of public declaration of my intentions. The next step would surely be to purchase a six foot unicycle, some very large candy apple read shoes, a tri-coloured afro wig and to ride up and down main street singing "I Love a Parade." Because, well, who doesn't?

Surely only the lack of oxygen at that dizzying height will slow me down. My spirits may temporarily need to indulge in a fine chicken fajita or some curry but they will not be dampened or otherwise be subjected to any kind of moist towel. They will forever blaze free in proclamation of my individuality.

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